BALM Sheer Matte Lipstick

NYX has a stunning Smooth Whip color I think fits the bill for you; it's truly the prettiest desaturated red on me! It's called Parfait and although the models don't help all that much with a color reference, I'm a neutral olive and this is gorgeous on me! I also lovelovelove NARS Sinful multistick

I'm also pale neutral leaning warm and some red colors I've liked on myself are Rare Beauty's matte lipstick in the shade Bold and Violette FR's bisou balm in the shade Mon Cheri. It can also help to use more sheer formulas or only apply a thin layer, that way it looks less dramatic